Just about a week to go now before I pack up and head off east. In fact, in exactly one weeks time I should be at Heathrow - an airport I have had the good fortune to avoid for a good number of years. Although, on reflection, nothing can compare to the pure evil of the sleazy jet agents at Geneva. I had a stand up shouting match with an illiterate over-promoted Swiss bint about the excess baggage charge they were proposing to levy on my air fare to return home to Bristol - as I recall, it was the same bag and clothing that I took out with me. It was a real humdinger and I nearly jabbed the counter out of existence. I lost and paid, inevitably. I always do!


I digress. At quite a young age I was fortunate to realise that a large proportion of people are very willing and forthcoming at giving you advice whether it is wanted or not. In fairness, most of it is well intentioned and some of it is sound, but generally it is just not wanted. However, I recently asked somebody (who shall remain nameless, but to whom I am grateful) for any advice I could have for my upcoming visit to Moscow.


I simply knew that the advice I was receiving was pure gold when I read, inter alia, the following gems:

• Little old ladies are to watched out for at ALL times, the rule of thumb is the more elderly they look the more vicious they are, if you get in their way they will hit you!
• The mullet is in fashion and not just for men, you will see some very funky looking hair styles, do not be alarmed most of them do not have a life of their own.
• Stray dogs- Moscow has 30,000 stray dogs, they are harmless unless you run past them or poke them, if they bite you go straight to the Embassy and get a rabies shot. It will save you from the illness but stop you drinking for 6 months.

I do not recall so far in life having the urge to poke a stray dog, but the bleeding obvious can be sound advice nevertheless!

On the subject of advice, I had not heard of the moscow rules until this week (and had not read them until today - thanks FEGG!!), but whether the CIA connection is true or not, they would seem to be pretty good advice generally for life!

These are the moscow rules I found on Wikepedia:

Assume nothing.
Murphy is right.
Never go against your gut; it is your operational antenna.
Don't look back; you are never completely alone.
Everyone is potentially under opposition control.
Go with the flow, blend in.
Vary your pattern and stay within your cover.
Any operation can be aborted. If it feels wrong, it is wrong.
Maintain a natural pace.
Lull them into a sense of complacency.
Build in opportunity, but use it sparingly.
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Don't harass the opposition.
There is no limit to a human being's ability to rationalize the truth.
Technology will always let you down.
Pick the time and place for action.
Keep your options open.
Once is an accident. Twice is coincidence. Three times is an enemy action.

I would hazard the view that if in life you follow those, you should, for most of the time be pretty much OK!!

Just a few bits and pieces to do now before I go,

Until........